The Peaceful Parenting Model (Why I Posted It On My Personal Site is the First Comment)

(Revision Two, approximately fifteen short paragraphs/one-liners and endnotes; copyleft Peter Voluntaryistic Walker 3-27-2016.)

In this mini-essay I describe the *what* rather than the *how* of The Peaceful Parenting Model; but I provide further references for the how. Parenting begins with highly qualified parents, meaning self-study and self continuous improvement. I highly recommend the ten question yes-or-no self-survey that took me about 10 minutes to do, free from; with the caveat that for every yes answer, the frequency and intensity also needs to be considered, and if the issue has yet to be resolved, to accept formal or informal help to do so. There are also self-quizzes such as There’s also,,, (how to fight wars without actually having to do battle).

“Peaceful Parenting” is an informal and non-technical term publicized mostly by Stefan Molyneux. There are also books with “Peaceful Parent” and similar terms in the title. The concepts are similar to or the same as Nonviolent Communication as founded by Marshall Rosenberg, and Taking Children Seriously as founded by David Deutsch and Sarah Fitz-Claridge; but it’s easier and more popular to say “peaceful parenting”. It’s main concept is abuse/fraud/neglect/violence is not only unnecessary for parenting and educating, but:

– Reduces IQ.

– Teaches coercion in place of negotiation.

– Is a if not the primary root-level cause of man’s inhumanity to man (,

– Teaches win-lose rather than win-win, aka common preference, relationships.

– Proportionately increases the probability of poverty and almost all health/behavioral maladies.

— By “proportionally”, I mean the more and more intense the abuse/fraud and neglect, the higher the probabilities.

— provides references, and more are at and at

Other Peaceful Parenting main points:

– A parent’s primary responsibility is to deliver a functionally happy adult to the child’s adult self.

– Involuntary circumcision is abuse, causes long term trauma, and is a scam.,

– Peaceful parenting is not about allowing children to be unaccountable for socially unacceptable behavior or allowing them to pursue anything unhealthy/unsafe.

— It is about establishing a home of win-win negotiations by providing options as sets of conditions and consequences. “Gentle, positive, or peaceful parenting is a conscious shift away from the traditional authoritarian, from-the-top-down style of parenting, to one based on connection and mutual respect. L.R. Knost describes it beautifully as ‘guiding instead of controlling, connecting instead of punishing, encouraging instead of demanding. It’s about listening, understanding, responding, and communicating.'” –

— At younger ages such as pre-seven (depending on the individual), unhealthy and unsafe choices aren’t an option. Although not intended to be an option with older children either, with age comes the ability to choose more options than provided by parenting.

— As a child becomes older and has more freedom, the Peaceful Parenting up to that point will as a rule result in the child or adult choosing correctly.

— Exceptions to the rule are reasons such as being born with a mental chemical imbalance or being the victim of trauma such as natural or man-made disasters. Even so, those in the position of being exceptions will have an infinitely better chance of coping and transcending than those raised without peaceful parenting.

– Peaceful parenting is extremely time consuming and for most parents requires a large education investment; but is part of the moral commitment made when bringing a child into the world or taking over parenting responsibility from another.

– Euphemisms such as “discipline” and “spanking” (meaning to hit) fraudulently candy-coat negligence and abuse.

– Peaceful parenting is one of if not the most actionable things for those wanting to reduce man’s inhumanity to man. For instance, most people and groups can’t directly change unhealthy human institutions such as war and corrupt economic systems, but man’s inhumanity to man can be greatly reduced or even mostly eliminated over generations the way Western Civilization’s (no offense to other civilizations) abolition movement took two to three hundred years to begin and then change the majority public moral perspective of chattel slavery, which had *previously gone unchanged since the beginning of human history*.



1. “Everybody is born a genius. Society de-geniuses them.” – Richard Buckminster Fuller

2. By “Model” in the context of the title, I mean a scientific model; an imperfect or idealized representation of a physical system. Such representation can be in the form of a flow chart, schematic, equation, or in this case a written summary. This mini-essay’s summary is imperfect as compared to the physical reality because the reality is carried out by individuals who all vary in doing so.

3. I wrote the above as *part* of an answer to the blog question “1.) What is the practical goal or purpose of voluntaryism?” I numbered my initial answer as follows, and then committed to write mini-essays on the paras 1a and 3 subjects. My next mini-essay is The Voluntaryist Education Model.

1a. With the caveats presented in below paragraphs 1b through 1d, it’s presently expanding one’s own intellect and habits/lifestyle to transcend unhealthy cultures, peaceful parenting, independent education as opposed to mainstream indoctrination/schooling, and continuous personal growth mostly through alternative information and social channels; all towards living a happier present life and future generations finding their own better solutions to individual and society problems. This importantly and possibly most importantly includes the option to further develop and choose alternatives to the social institution of the state.

1a1. The state is a monopoly of a minority of rulers over a majority of ruled. Monopolies only last when they’re violently enforced and because they’re monopolies, expand until they collapse under their own weight; so far in history the start-expand-collapse-start cycle simply repeats.

1a2. From 1900 to 2000, the state murdered over a quarter billion people, incarcerated and tortured millions, practiced eugenics and involuntary medical experimentation, caused and continues to cause tens of thousands to unnecessarily die daily from starvation and disease, and leaves the rest of us with shortened and degraded lives. It continues this century.

1a3. We as a species have the technology and resources to provide ourselves and most other species with a reasonable quality of life; the obstacles are cultural. By “reasonable” I mean other species mostly left alone in their natural habitat and our species as individuals, not just the lucky ones, born into flourishing families and communities all allowing each other to flourish.

1b. There are many spokespersons for anarchism/voluntaryism such as Lew Rockwell, Stefan Molyneux, Larkin Rose, Adam Kokesh, Gary Chartier, and Wendy McElroy; each would probably answer your question differently.

1c. “Practical” requires defining otherwise it’s vulnerable to True Scotsman Fallacies such as “That’s not what I call practical.” So in this context, I define it as “The property of having more or better benefits than its alternatives.”

1d. The alternatives to voluntaryism are almost infinite in number and include but are not limited to most political ideologies (aka philosophies); for instance some religious doctrines also contradict voluntaryism.

1d1. Pacifist ideologies differ from voluntaryism because voluntaryism doesn’t exclude self self-defense.

1d2. Ideologies/philosophies contradicting voluntaryism are those rationalizing or justifying the *initiation* of fraud/violence. For instance some religions have a doctrine that you either convert or die. Most political ideologies are based on the alleged social contract or the equivalent that because you’re born in a geographic location, you’re in debt to is the government of that area even though you never agreed to be born there and you never agreed to any social contract.

“2.) What specific course of action does voluntaryism suggest?”

2a. Para 1a above.

“3.) Why should we expect this course of action to further the goal enumerated in your answer to question 1?”

3a. Valid and verifiable expectations are only result of research, and the documentation of peaceful parenting and the other subjects are available; suggested starts:

– Peaceful parenting: Bomb in the brain series by Stefan Molyneux –

– Independent education and expanding one’s own intellect:

4. “Religion” is a euphemism for superstition and it and other forms of indoctrination are immoral; excepting many don’t know it’s immoral, and it’s moral if not indoctrinating your child will get your family killed by the primitive tribe, etc. Religion also differs from spirituality and church:

4a. Spirituality is an individual rather than group pursuit and can be secular.

4.b. Religion differs from the social institution of the “church” which is really the extended extended family, or family/extended family for those without family or extended family; and this extended extended family is also called “support group”, “club” (as in a serious motorcycle club), etc.; for all practical purposes churches. There’s also the UU ( and possibly some other churches where the point is individual spiritual discovery.

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One Response to The Peaceful Parenting Model (Why I Posted It On My Personal Site is the First Comment)

  1. This mini-essay (mini because it doesn’t comply with standard college paper requirements) among other things provides insight into my true self. I was mostly a peaceful parent when I was a parent, but didn’t get it completely right because I didn’t know then what I know now.

    If the links aren’t automatic, it’s because I mostly write in plain text, but I also posted this mini-essay at where they automatically automate the links 🙂

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